Wednesday, February 11, 2009

life it's a bitch of a lesson

It’s funny how your perspective can change in the course of nearly a dozen months. The little shit that wore you down months ago seems so trivial in hindsight now. Separation from the situation tends to promote clarity. As you stand back and examine your role in the demise of a friendship, you realize your part in its death can not be fully expunged. So now a year later…. life hands them a death sentence, something you’d never wish on your own worst enemy.

And you think about all the time the both of you wasted…time that can’t be given back, wasted in a pissing match that could never be won by either of you. I have always said there is not much I regret in life…..have always lived with my decisions and chalked them up to life’s little lessons. But this is different, I can’t just wash my hands of it….. and I am responsible for my actions. I think I grew up a little bit this past year, it’s a bitch of a I hope no one else has to learn.

It will be two weeks ago on Friday that I lost a friend, to the ravishment of cancer, too young to die, to young to leave behind a daughter and son, and the love of his life Tina. He will be sorely missed by them and myself. Just seems unreal that I won't be trading baseball smack talk about his Royals and "my girls" as he used to refer to my Tigers.

But as time has gone on, I am trying to look at the loss of this friend the way he viewed his pending death. He had made his peace, with his maker and everyone he felt he needed to, and to not be at peace with that myself would be hypercritical. So I'm trying to look beyond the grief of a life cut short and choosing to take some advice from a nutty professor...... There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." (Albert Einstien)…...............I am choosing the everything is a miracle option. Rest in Peace Rodney, Aka Forrest