Friday, November 16, 2007

How Do You Get An OSU Grad Off Your Front Porch?

In Wolverine country, we take the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry seriously. When you apply for your drivers licence in Michigan you are required to take an oath to hate the Ohio State Buckeyes for life and seal such oath by signing your name in blood. We're not nice to Bucknuts that invade our town every other year, not by any means and if you dare to wear scarlet and gray then you have earned yourself some choice words from the Michigan faithful, or maybe even a stray water balloon tossed in your direction.

But you buckeyes take it up a notch, to a seemingly sicking level sometimes. Buckeye fans have been known to assault opposing fans while the Columbus cops turn a blind eye. To Ohio State fans, a sucker punch is an acceptable form of behavior when a Michigan fan is on the receiving end.

That's not rivalry. That's just being an ass, but what do you expect from a Buckeye. last I checked physical intimidation was not a legit reason why Columbus is a tough place to play.

The same dichotomy (It's a big word, I know. Ohio State students, I recommend applies to the respective athletic departments as well.
In Ann Arbor, the visiting Buckeyes are greeted by a friendly athletic department representative, who guides the team to the visitors' locker room.

In Columbus, the visiting Wolverines are greeted by not-so-friendly attack dogs, in a "security measure" that Ohio State takes against no other team. That' s a bit excessive, especially when the hardened criminals usually hail from Columbus (insert your own Maurice Clarett joke here).

But when your all-time record against Michigan is 39-57-6, you need every unfair advantage you can get. At least that's how the screwed-up thinking goes in Bucknut country.

Michigan boasts some of the most iconic traditions in sports. Touching the Go Blue banner. Winged helmets. The world's greatest fight song: "The Victors."

What do you guys have? A fat tuba player who high-steps to dot the 'i' in a script Ohio. Wow. I can feel the goosebumps already. Which by the way. you couldn't even come up with that lame-ass tradition on your own. The Michigan Marching Band invented the script Ohio formation in 1932.

So yeah Today is another day in the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry, and the game is beign played on the one year anniversary of our Beloved Bo's do the man proud today boys.....GO BLUE!!!
Oh and the punch line to the joke of how to get an OSU grad off your front him for the pizza!!!! Snap!