Another Reason Some People Shouldn't Have Pets

I am completly against people who spends tons of money on their pets, buying them doggie jogging suits and designer outfits, there is something just wrong about it all together, however I have to admit some of these fucknut owners do have some creativity when it comes to torturing their pets at Halloween.........just take a look at these dog owners that have either too much time on their hands or too much money if their wallet





I have to admit this one is my favorite, I mean if you are gonna dress up dogs at least have a sence of humor about it...

My Life As A Teacher –A Ten Minute Snapshot

Why only ten minutes? Because I’m certain that’s all it’ll take for you to get the picture. First hour is as good as any place to start. Two minutes before class starts I get an email that a parent is coming in at the end of the hour to pick up progress reports for her son. No problem, print it off and send it off to the office, call the rest of my team and remind them to do the same. First Fire of the day extinguished.

Next it’s Meds and Roll call. Never heard of such a monster? It’s when I take roll and also check to see who is benefiting from a little help from their friend. I’ve got 3 kids on ADD and Anti Psychotic/Anxiety drugs in this particular class. Not taking the time to ensure that those jagged little pills are swallowed will certainly spell disaster later in the day.



So I begin—Amy? -“here” –Meds Down? “Yes”
Tommy? “here”- Meds Down? “No” ---ok go to the office and take them
Jimmy? “here” Meds Down? “I don’t need no stinking meds!”
Yes you do.
“NO I DON”T!!! I hate that crap it makes me a zombie.”
You need it so you can be productive Jimmy, go take your meds and be prepared to do the tongue test so we know it went down otherwise we are going to have wrap it in a piece of cheese like you do for Fido and rub your neck till you swallow it.

“Fine I’ll take my freaking meds, but only if you take some anti-bitch meds and get off my ass!”>insert door slamming and stomping down the stairs. Wow a new record two weekend words in one sentence, good job Jimmy.

Sometimes I think I am just Nurse Ratched, dispensing little cups of happy pills to my students in an ill attempt to stave off them shanking me or another student the first chance they get. Unfortunately this year, I think it’s inevitable , drugs down or not.

Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa Go Tell Someone Who Gives A Fuck

As many of you know I give my students nicknames every year. Typically it takes at least a card marking for a kid to "earn" a nick name from me, however, every once in a while I have an overachiever who ears his before the first week of school is over.

This year that certain overachiever would be Jimmy.... Now Jimmy came to school on Monday morning complaining about everything under the sun. He's tired, he's hungry, he hates school, he hates the me, the kid next to him smells , he missed the bus, he has no lunch money...blah blah blahhhhhhhh blahhhhhhh.

Just as he finished his morning bitchfest the bell rings and class begins, with his list of grievances against the world fresh in my mind I start calling kids names for roll.....

Amy Adams- here

John Brown- here

Anthony Johnson-here

Jenny Martin-here

Robert Smith-here

then I pause...knowing my moment for sheer genius has come and I seize the opportunity to manipulate Jimmy's name for evil not good and assign him a be fitting nickname.....

And last but not least we all know that little ray of sunshine Jimmy "Whiner"croft is here .....that's right I jacked up his last name and so geniusesly incorporated the word whiner into it....What can I say he opened the door for it and I gladly took him to the bank on it....we'll see how well he takes to his new A.K.A. I am secretly hoping it follows him around till he graduates high school, hell I hope people are calling him Jimmy Whinercroft at his 20 year reunion, now wouldn't that be the shitz.

Disclaimer.....Names have been changed to protect the innocent...being me, seriously I don't use my kids real names but I did incorporate the word Whiner in Jimmy's name.

The Student Whisperer

They're back! Yep, a new batch of little devils, I mean lovely students. I have to say so far I have been impressed with my new batch of kids this year. I had heard some horror stories about their behavior and well I am just hoping that the honeymoon period lasts a while longer before I run into problems.

One goal I had at the beginning of the year was to get a handle on the kids talking in class from day one. I have the biggest problem with this in 6th hour when the kids come for academic support. Basically this is an hour for them to get one on one help from me with work they didn't finish in their classes.

However they seem to think this is the social hour and always want to talk to the kid sitting next to them. So I had this brilliant idea to come up with some kind of verbal cue to get them to stop talking, and I thought I'd just go all dog whisperer on them and make that annoying noise that Cesar Millan makes when he's trying to get a dog that is yipping to quit barking.

Yeah it sounds like I am being inhumane but you know what it works. For instance today, a student initiated a conversation with a student next to him and every time he said a word I piped up with that annoying "pssshhhh," till he finally just gave up the conversation knowing I wasn't going to allow him to finish his sentence.

It's kinda funny because just as I was in the midst of "psssshhhhing" the chatty student the school counselor came in the room to rinse out her coffee cup in my sink. She kind of flashed me a weird look when she heard me and that's when I told her I was the student whisperer, she immediately chuckled and got my point, then asked me if I needed any choker collars....lol, hopefully not.

I Wasn't Kidding About The Whole Electrical Vortex Thing

234 WATTS Body Battery Calculator - Find Out How Much Electricity Your Body is Producing -

According to this extremely "scientific" source (tongue in cheek) I have enough power in my body to light up 2 light bulbs; wow not sure I could get two light bulbs in my mouth to test out that theory. I also could power 59 iPods, hummm damn if I could just power the "one" I have that'd be great, that sucker is forever dying on me.

Oh and supposedly I have enough electrical energy to power 1 Xbox 360, don't tell Greg that, he'll be wanting me to come to Cali just so I could charge his Xbox while he play his Guitar Hero game. I can just see me on the hamster wheel now, while he's yelling run faster Kat, I have a two minute solo coming up....Ohhhhh Barracuda!

Remind Me...Why Do I Come Here Every Day?????

Oh yeah, I love my job. Wish it were true lately, but it's not. No lately I hate my job. Last Friday in particular was one of those days when by 3rd hour I needed a stiff drink, and make it a double while you are at it. Where is my flask when I need it?

I don't know if it's cabin fever or what, but my student's behaviors have been completely terrible the past two weeks. Unless you've hung around middle school students lately, and in particular one's with special needs, I don't think you can completely understand what I deal with on a good day let alone a bad one. Now I am not just talking that my students are slow to learn, that is the least of my problems, no I am dealing with bi-polar, schizophrenic, and emotionally impairments on top of the learning disabilities. It can make for some tough days.

Just when I think the day can't get any worse I am delivered the news that I will be getting a new student...not just any student, but the worst behaved student in my grade. Adding him to the current crazy mixture is going to be nothing but disastrous.

Now I am not one to give up on a kid so easily, in fact I am usually the one last shot for a kid to get his shit together. I usually have success with even the most hard-core students. But I am felling like I 'm being set up to fail with this kid. He already has a file that is 5 inches thick of documentation of his ill behaviors beginning on the first day of kindergarten though this year.

He already has a parole officer and has been hauled out of school in handcuffs by our liasion officer. Oh did I mention I teach in a "Public" school? Who'd of thunk hugh? The principal as warned our team of teachers that this kid would blow one day before the end of the school year, unfortunately I have a bad feeling it's going to happen in my class. He's got one more chance this year, if he messes up once more he will begin his carreer of incarsaration by going to the juvinile detention center.

I'm trying to be optimistic here but I am afreaid this is going to end badly, thinking he's gonna go out with a bang----I just pray that involve the need for handcuffs or an ambulence. Or more importantly me being hauled off in an ambulence. Yeah I am really loving my job today, now you know why I sooooo need my summer vacation.

If Only Rubber Soled Shoes Weren't So Fugly

I think I have an electrical vortex field around me. I know a weird way to start a post, but humor me for the all of three minutes it take you to read this post. I've never had any luck with electronics. I'm on my third laptop in less than 4 years, all scumming to some form of major electrical meltdown.

Now my Ipod hates me...yeah joined the crowd and my Parents bought me one for Christmas. Its the New Nano with video..not that I will ever figure out how to get any porn on there. So much for porn on the go. Anyway, love it.. well when the fucker works that is.

Basically it has been a pain in the ass since I took it out of the box. First it didn't want to sync, then out of the blue the screen whited out. I could listen to music however couldn't read the menu which well made it difficult. So I call Apple support and get a very peppy operator named Krissy to help me reset the little fucker. Finally I can read the menu, well I could if I was bilingual that is, yeah the damn thing reset to Fucking Chinese!

I asked my new BFF Krissy how the hell that could have happened and she replied "Heck if I know", not too encouraging when the so called professional can't explain that one. To rub salt in my wounds she adds "I have never in my 6 months at Apple ever encountered such a weird problem." Ok, maybe she's not an expert, but she has 6 months more experience than me with this technology, and I prefer the term quirky Krissy, telling me my Ipod is weird is giving me a complex. So the Ipod stayed fixed all of ten minutes and went back to wigging out immediately, but made a miraculous recovery the next morning and seems to be working fine since.

But getting back to the whole electrical vortex thing...I really think there is something to it. Greg said I should do an experiment to text it. Something about a light bulb, licking my lips, and a battery....(ok that sounded a bit freaky) I'm not Bill Nye but I think he's trying to pull a fast one on me. Of course part of me wants to believe him and get some scientific evidence to my hypothesis, on the otherhand, this is the same guy who convinced me to ask the cashier at the grocery store if I could sample groceries before I buy them. I wonder if Einstein struggled with such issues? Damn I just gave myself a shock, see what I mean now?

Bargin of the Day

Saw this advertisement today at the bottom of the page on yahoo sports......think someone has some wishful thinking lol.

New York Mets Playoff Tickets
For a limited time only all Mets Playoff Tickets are reduced.
www.NewYorkMets.TicketsNow.com

All I can say is a fool and his money are soon departed....yeah the smack talk is starting early.

WTF? Part Two

Barry Bonds in Drag.....ok that is just fundamentally wrong, nice ink Barry.

Who'd of Thunk

Let's see....... show your bitchy side one night, and shed a few tears the next and what do you get?.......The New Hampshire Primary evidently. Personally I didn't think she had a soft side...go figure.

WTF?

Can I get an Amen?

Ok, so I was in Walmart the other day….yeah I know that’s where I made my first mistake..but anyway, I am strolling through the junior department and that’s where I found what well, I don’t even know, cant even describe it…there are no words for this….well actually it speaks volumes really………..


And this is what it says……….
Hi, Mom, you know, I'm 13 years old now and I've decided that selling my pussy is the direction I'm leaning to take with my life since you obviously don't want me to be happy because you refuse to buy me a cell phone. Like, whatever! With the help of messages like this courtesy of America’s favorite retailer, I know the important things in life, like, cool clothes and cash, cash, cash. And, in the end, I gotta work the snatch to get it. Oh and there are some really cool clear stripper shoes in the shoe department too, I mean everyone is wearing them Mom.
Seriously what has raising a teenager girl come to when parent’s goals are to keep their daughters off the poles? I feel sorry for you Greg, be strong man, and keep the guns loaded!

Yes Revenge Can Be Sweet

Ran across this during my ritual Sunday night Post Secret habit, OK obsession, I admit it I am hooked on that site, I even got the book "A Lifetime of Secrets" for Christmas. Anyway laughed my ass off when I read this one..............

Red Neck Christmas

That's right parents you might want to cover the kiddies eyes when you drive past this lovely dipiction of Rudolph and one of his other reindeer friends being hung upside down from a tree and gutted.....what is it they say? Oh yeah... you can't fix stupid.

Conscia Mens Recti

I’ve said in my blog before that my Dad introduced me to this game I love called baseball when I was six years old. And I don’ t exaggerate when I say “l Love This Game”. I really do. But I am also old school, I feel in love with the game and a team, when there were genuine players that played because they loved the game. I know some of you don’t get it, but there is a difference …and if you are a baseball fan and you have never experienced it or witnessed that then you have missed out on something unique.

I grew up loving the game during a time when the players were accessible, when you could go to batting practice at the park and actually talk to the players, get autographs, write them letters and they actually hand wrote you a letter back. I remember winter autograph appearances where you didn’t have to pay to get your baseball signed, the players did it for free, imagine that today... When the field was filled with young players who paid their dues on the farm teams and earned their way to the big field. They made Detroit their home both during the summer and the off season. That’s what I mean about being old school.

I think, well I know baseball has changed since my induction to the game at the tender age of six. And I think the biggest thing is the lack on integrity of many players. Simply defined integrity is playing the game with moral uprightness and honesty. I think there is good evidence of the lack of said characteristics in any game, just read the newspaper or watch ESPN and examples of athletes lacking integrity and morals and how it affects their life on the field and in their personal lives.

Maybe I am naive, but I simply believe that if you have integrity as an athlete you will be able to walk securely, and in turn you won’t be the topic of scandals, rumors or gossip, or better yet named in a 400 page plus report by a certain ex-Senator. Athletes who decide to cut corners, gain an advantage, in essence cheat, yes I said CHEAT, will not only be discovered but will pay the ultimate price……loss of credibility and integrity. I mean in the end it’s all we’ve got….I strongly feel they are words that should hang over the locker of every professional baseball player.

For what seems like an eternity, we’ve had to hear about the stories of Bonds and his alleged steroid use, and honestly I am sick of hearing it. Not because I don’t care but because it’s like beating a dead horse. But now he has company in his House of Roids….I am actually surprised and relieved by the Mitchell Report. Surprised that there were only 80 names listed, and relieved that only one of my boy’s was accounted for , although I knew he’d show up.

But overall I feel sorry for these men who despite their deceitful efforts, gained nothing….because in the end their word, character, and integrity have been tainted along with all their record breaking feats. And according to this old school girl, a man’s word and integrity is one thing you can’t buy, is not easily repaired and sure as hell can not be injected.

The best we can hope for is some scar tissue and a vague memory of the pain.

(The Title is Latin, yes, I took latin, google it to see the translation)

Someone is Stepping On A Crack Somewhere

More like stomping on them... why? Because my back is killing me.So much that I had to go to the ER for a shot of morphine on Sunday. Which by the way that stuff provides for a mighty fine high. Now I know why people can get addicted to that shit. You certainly don't feel any pain that for sure.

However it also lovers my IQ about 60 points making me borderline retarded and totally unmotivated. Lucked out Monday and got a day off work because of a snow day and took Tuesday off to recover. So by Wednesday I was pretty much strung out on drugs just trying to make it through the school day with out falling asleep, rambling incoherently or drooling on myself...I for see an MRI in my near future...ugh

Update:
I went to the chiropractor Monday got an adjustment and felt a little better, took some more drugs, got another adjustment on Thursday and feel good as new. Some say that chiropractors are quacks, but right now, I think mine should win the Nobel Peace Prize...What? If Al Gore can win one so can my Chiropractor!

How NOT To Start Your Weekend

By getting a call from your Assistant Principal an hour into your weekend break telling you that one of your students who spend the day in the office was hauled out of school the last hour of the day in Handcuffs by the police.

And if that wasn't enough, that you need to set up a meeting with your team, the school psychologist, social worker, school liaison officer and parent for Monday Morning. Oy Veh
Somedays I hate my job.

Which is Funnier?

Getting decked by a fan or...............................................


Getting a nut job from your team mate and having it photographed and spread around the world by evil bloggers like myself............

My vote is the nut job of course

Happy Hanukkah

Happy First Night of Hanukkah

You Know It's Cold When...

You are sitting in your house wearing a hoodie sweatshirt and you pull the hood up over your head, I know just turn the heat up right? Well considering I am breaking the bank on all the christmas lights I have plugged into every wall socket, I can't exactly afford to crank up the heat.

We are getting the first real snow fall of the season tonight...just wish it would have come tomorrow night..god I need a snow day!

A Thought to Ponder....

admit it you chuckled just a little, or maybe you cringed..either way you reacted

In Case You Wondered......

Why bicycle shorts are always black!!


And NOT Red


Holy Hell that shit should be illegal!!!

Fun with words

Working with special needs students can be exhausting to say the least, however it can also be rewarding and well more importantly entertaining. Since the majority of my students can only read at the third grade level, (they are in eighth grade) I'm required to teach them phonics daily from a district approved curriculum. The lesson from the unit I am teaching this week involved the students writing sentences from a list of vocabulary words provided in the lesson. Today's vocabulary words included the following:

rubdown
nuts
bathtub
trucker
bunkbed
gushing
walnuts

Are you kidding me people??? I teach middle schoolers! Seriously people I couldn't make this shit up if I tried....I am sure you can imagine what kinds of sentences I'd end up with. Needless to say I didn't assign this to my kids, however I am assigning it to my readers...that's right You have homework! So get busy and write me some sentences!!! Can't wait to see if you make the grade.

My Nightmare Before Christmas

I have to admit, I'm one of those women...that's right I actually went shopping on black Friday. I know, I know, crazy. But well I wasn't alone in my insanity, that's the problem. Now I very rarely do the early bird post Thanksgiving sale, maybe oh I'd say every 5 years or so. And its usually only if there's something that's a really incredible deal. In this case a $300 item for $99.

I have to admit I'm a rookie and I don't hold a candle to those professional bargain hunting women who will stop at noting to get that last coveted item they are looking for. It's all good thought, to each her own, but what bugged me the most were the women and men who dragged their children out in the wee hours of the morning to help them snag their booty. I can't tell you how many kids I saw loaded down with mesh sacks strapped to their chests stuffed to the brim with clothes, and toys. And if that weren't enough these glorified pack mules were also expected to drag king size pillows in each hand (after all they were buy one get one free) as they struggled to find their way through the maze of people toward the check out lane.

I swear these women would sell their child's soul to the devil himself for the chance to qualify for a free $10 Kohl's gift card. Seriously people get a grip! Let you children stay home in their footed P.J's all snuggled under their blankets dreaming of all those presents Santa, AKA Ninja Shopper Mom, will be placing under the tree. Silly me but I think that dragging you child shopping with you kinda puts a crimp in the whole Santa story line.

If I were a betting kinda gal, I'd wager that the one item that those women broke their necks to find will be the least appreciated and played with gift received.I guess this is a prime example that the thrill of the hunt is more exciting than the kill itself.

How Do You Get An OSU Grad Off Your Front Porch?

In Wolverine country, we take the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry seriously. When you apply for your drivers licence in Michigan you are required to take an oath to hate the Ohio State Buckeyes for life and seal such oath by signing your name in blood. We're not nice to Bucknuts that invade our town every other year, not by any means and if you dare to wear scarlet and gray then you have earned yourself some choice words from the Michigan faithful, or maybe even a stray water balloon tossed in your direction.

But you buckeyes take it up a notch, to a seemingly sicking level sometimes. Buckeye fans have been known to assault opposing fans while the Columbus cops turn a blind eye. To Ohio State fans, a sucker punch is an acceptable form of behavior when a Michigan fan is on the receiving end.

That's not rivalry. That's just being an ass, but what do you expect from a Buckeye. last I checked physical intimidation was not a legit reason why Columbus is a tough place to play.

The same dichotomy (It's a big word, I know. Ohio State students, I recommend dictionary.com.) applies to the respective athletic departments as well.
In Ann Arbor, the visiting Buckeyes are greeted by a friendly athletic department representative, who guides the team to the visitors' locker room.

In Columbus, the visiting Wolverines are greeted by not-so-friendly attack dogs, in a "security measure" that Ohio State takes against no other team. That' s a bit excessive, especially when the hardened criminals usually hail from Columbus (insert your own Maurice Clarett joke here).

But when your all-time record against Michigan is 39-57-6, you need every unfair advantage you can get. At least that's how the screwed-up thinking goes in Bucknut country.

Michigan boasts some of the most iconic traditions in sports. Touching the Go Blue banner. Winged helmets. The world's greatest fight song: "The Victors."

What do you guys have? A fat tuba player who high-steps to dot the 'i' in a script Ohio. Wow. I can feel the goosebumps already. Which by the way. you couldn't even come up with that lame-ass tradition on your own. The Michigan Marching Band invented the script Ohio formation in 1932.

So yeah Today is another day in the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry, and the game is beign played on the one year anniversary of our Beloved Bo's death....so do the man proud today boys.....GO BLUE!!!
Oh and the punch line to the joke of how to get an OSU grad off your front porch..........pay him for the pizza!!!! Snap!

Cruel As School Children

I asked my students to do some free writing and this is what I got from one of my students...not all my students are learning disabled in writing, actually some are quite good at it as in this example. However it did choke me up to read, sometimes I just wish kids just weren't kids, and well for once didn't do the stereotypical kid things. It's tough enough to grow up these days, but to be an outsider looking in is doubly hard. Sometimes I just want to suck the adolescent brains out of these kids and shove an adult one into them, but when you think about it us adults can be just as bad, hell just look at half my blog posts. But as adults we are "big kids" and we can take the abuse better...It doesn't make it right it just makes it what it is.


There is a fat kid who is laughed at every day he goes to school, and every day he is made fun of and everyday he goes home and cries. He's fat, he admits it . He tries to lose weight and nothing works. He has zits and uncool hair and sometimes he doesn't always smell the best in the world. He acts like it doesn't hurt him, walks by , eyes down, mouth closed. Doesn't respond to the remarks. On the outside, it looks like he doesn't care, but on the inside his stomach is in knots and there is a lump in his throat. Every time he's called a new name it slices like a paper cut. He's quite good at keeping his emotions bottled up.

When this kid goes home to his trailer park house, he goes right to his computer, where he is not ridiculed because of his physical appearance. If you were on the outside looking in, you might think this kid is kinda weird or even antisocial. But he's really just a regular kid, who wants some friends, even just one friend, who might pick him for a team just once, or not groan and roll their eyes when they are assigned to sit next to him in class. He just wants someone to ask him to his house to skateboard or play computer games,,or might just call me by my real name for once.

WoW

Just realized that I have posted over a hundred posts this year, I am a complete pro at talking about absolutely nothing of signifigance. Gold star for me.

Post Secret

Alyssa Milano I Love You

In a totally non freaky sort of way,,,no I love you for your line of MLB Sportswear for women. God finally a woman who has designed sports wear that is fitted for a WOMAN ....
Hey eyes off her ta ta's guys lol

Do me a Favor would ya, save that for at home OK?

Please fathers of the World Wide Web....please, please please inform you teenage sons that is is TOTALLY inappropriate for them to scratch their nuts within a 5 foot range of their female teacher's desk. That also goes for adjusting their perpepetual hardons also, and while you are at it tell them to wear briefs not boxers, they need to keep that junk sucured at all times! That is all thank you.

Things Aren't Always What They Seem

So this is the thing, I know this person who is in the process of getting a divorce, not like either one of them didn't see it coming. It was a long time coming and well they finally got around to bringing their jaded and bitter relationship to an end by separating and filing for divorce....but not before making a mess of it in the process.

Being the friend I am I listened to the endless accounts of how this person lost themselves long ago, how they felt abused, belittled and insignificant throughout their marriage and slowly watched them resolve to throw in the towel. It is kinda sad to watch that process I have to say, but in the end it was probably the best.

Back to the making a mess of the situation part...anyway instead of just bringing this all to a head and confronting the demise of this union, he decides to cheat. Guess he thought he had nothing to lose anyway, and well just add a little fuel to the fire to get things rolling down divorce lane. Only thing is the chicka he decided to sow his oats with spilled the beans to his wife, rut ro.

Now the wifey figured what's good for the goose is good for the gander and decided to do the humpty hump with some guy she had her eye on..keep in mind all this is going on before any papers are filed and any final decisions made concerning this marriage.

So they both stay out till 4 am prospectively fucking someone they think is the better alternative to their situation...only problem is that things aren't always what they seem or what you want them to be. Turns out the chick hubby bags is a Stripper who although seemed together on the surface, turned out to be a total alcoloic train wreck with a husband in the pen. Wow who'd of thunk that. Wifey thought she was going to get the fantasy fuck of a lifetime and only ended up getting hurt when the guy refused to kiss her goodnight and call her...ever. So my question is... was it worth it, wasn't the pain of spitting up enough that you had to throw dual adultery into the mix? What is the pain now equal, like you are even now or something?

Anyway, the couple is on their way to divorce court, living in separate homes, moving on with their lives...and well searching for new mates. Now personally I preach that you need to grieve a marriage and work out the death of that union before you go looking to fill that void...but as always my advise goes through one ear and out the other and well the guy is on match . com already answering questions looking at his potential matches and guess who's an 88% compatible match? That's right.....his WIFE, how fucking poetic is that??? Maybe they should consider reconciliation?? Just a thought.

Give them their Kudos would Ya!

As much as I hate Cleveland for deciding to have a great season this year and give my boys a run for their money, I actually hate the Yankees even more. So it's safe to say I am rooting for my neighbors to the South to knock those asses out of the playoffs. With last nights duel in extra innings they did just that.

But something that's been "bugging" me is the headlines from last nights game, and well it has brought to the surface something that I have long hated about Yahoo Sports, their love for the Fucking Yankees. Even before the game was over the writers were blaming the Yankee's performance on "the swarm of insects" on the field. Umm excuse me but I don't think the bugs were just bothering the Yankees, Cleveland had to deal with them too. "But they got this one with help from some little, flying creatures who came unannounced and just in time."

"Swarming bugs, millions and millions of them, bombarded the New York Yankees at the worst possible time Friday night,(actually the invasion lasted more than one inning so both teams had to deal with it) covering and rattling rookie reliever Joba Chamberlain and helping the Cleveland Indians to a 2-1 win in 11 innings and a two-game lead in their AL playoff series." "But they got this one with help from some little, flying creatures who came unannounced and just in time." Helping the Indians? Don't think so....lets just blame anything and everything for your loss assholes.

"It's like somebody let them go," Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter said. "Just when you think you've seen it all -- that's home-field advantage." Oh please like they even had a clue that this was going to happen, and I am sure if given the choice they would have rather not had to deal with the bugs either.

Lets face it the reason the Yanks lost last night....they struggled to only get three hits off Clevelands pitchers, and Your golden boy A-Rod,he went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts and is now 4-for-47 with zero RBIs in his last 14 playoffs games.

This win wasn't by chance but by skill, so suck it up and admit it Yahoo Sports.

Anybody Got Some Fabreeze?

Every year there always seems to be one squirrely kid on my case load that just bugs the life out of the other teachers on my team. Now usually it's a kid with discipline issues, but this year I have to say I have a very well behaved group.

This year it's a student named Harley, yeah I know the first thing I did was to check his file to see if his middle name was Davidson, what were his parents thinking..with a name like that they completely set him up for unwanted attention.

Anyway in the realm of squirrely behavior Harley doesn't really register off the radar...he's rather somewhat normal in a sense. Never the less Harley has already established himself a distinct reputation...specifically a rather proudoundly pungent reputation.

At first it was just his body odor that offended everyone, and who is the brainiack that scheduled the kid for first hour gym anyway. Nothing like the smell of arm pit odor first thing in the morning to get the blood flowing. To be honest I didn't really notice the problem at first because I am the only teacher on my team with air conditioning in my room, yeah spoiled I know. But this past week Harley has taken on a new and improved and unmistakable malodorous stench, that "how do I say" this delicately...OK there's no other way to say this but that he smells like "SHIT". That's right..crap, pooh, meadow muffins, how ever you choose to call it it's still smells the same, like shit.

He was so odorous that the teacher actually kicked him out of third hour one day and made him go to the counselors office to get a lesson on personal hygiene. I kinda feel sorry for the kid, he reminds me so much of Jerry O'Connels character in that movie Stand By Me. You know that lovable fat kid that just doesn't quite fit in the group..he even has the same buzz cut and striped shirt.

Anyway the team was discussing the problem and a solution to it during planning time the next day. I suggested a stick up under his desk then J suggested one of those car air fresheners, of course I had to tweak the idea a bit by adding that he could wear it around his neck on a lanyard. Then we could even change them with the seasons. I know we are cruel but hell the stench is unbearable. Basically we realized there wasn't much we could do about the situation and pretty much succumbed to the fact it is going to be a "stinky" year. Sorry couldn't resist that one.

Later that day the History teacher came in my room to show me a student's paper, she wanted me to read the response of the student to the following question: "Name two areas in your life in which you think the government should have no say in what you do"

The response was a bit strange and well kinda entertaining..."I think the government should have no say in what I do in the bathroom. What I choose to do or not to do in there is private and they have no right to know what I am doing. OK a funny response but not as funny as when she showed me who had written it....none other than Mr. Stinky himself. I was completely cracking up, in this case I think the government needs to be in the bathroom monitoring to see if you are wiping that butt crack of yours ! Because you are obviously skipping that little task after you take your morning shit! Harley you may stink to high heaven but you did give me my first good laugh of the school year....

I could have sworn you said Betty Crocker...

About pissed my pants when i saw this....now if he'd just use his powers for good and not emo

Congratulations Pudge

Rodriguez played his 2,057th game as a catcher, passing Gary Carter for third on the all-time list, and trailing just Carlton Fisk (2,226) and Bob Boone (2,225) in games behind the plate in major league history. ... Yeah Hirp I guess he as been on his knees for a long time, but the word is he's not budging from the Ghetto anytime soon. Again Congrats Pudge. And Damn adjust that cup boy you are bulging lol

A Piece of History For Sale

My bloved Tiger Stadium at the corner of Michigan and Tremble is scheduled to be torn down soon, and as with every great piece of archetecture in the City of Detroit, it is being stripped of its treasures and they are going on the auction block. I mean they are selling everything, every last seat, sign, consession booth, dugout bench, and equiptment bag..it's a chance of a lifetime for a Tigers fan. Since my Dad is a huge fan I thought it would be a great opportunity to get a unique piece of history for him as a Christmas Present. So I went to the site to go shopping for ideas lets see what should I bid on....hummm




Al Kaline's coveted corner locker...that he would love..but hell already bid up way past my budget and well where the hell would he put it ...Oh here is the perfect gift...

a urnal from the Tiger Clubhouse..my dad can piss like a champ, ok it would be even better if the Tiger logo was on it, that would be priceless to see his reaction when he opened it, might be worth it just for the laughs...ok I guess something more practical....


This would be great...he hates the Yanks

Ok so I decided that stadium chairs would be the best option, and hell there are enough of them..but let's complicate things, I want the seats he had for his season tickets since I was a kid...that would be the Kat's meow and hell I know it would litterally bring tears to his eyes...but as it is the seats are not inventoried and no way to find those exact seats...so I guess I will settle on a pair of these..Hope I win them and don't have to take a second mortgage out to pay for them. Oh and Dad I expect you to leave these to me in your will, but hopefully not for a long time.

September Baseball

This summer, for the first time in quite some time , has reminded me just how extreme my Tigers have tended to play throughout the history of the franchise, at least for as long as I can remember in my 36 years.

Most cities that have major league teams are used to their club being there on the outside edge of contention when approaching the last stretch of the season, especially during the wild card era. But even I have to admit that for the most part the Tigers have been dreadful this September. There are many more teams in the National League that are within reachable grasp of the wild card spots, and several are in neck to neck divisional races.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to see my guys win, and play well, but I have never been oblivious to other player’s talents. Like the night I was in Applebe’s wanting to watch the Tigers game but they ironically had the Yankee’s game on, sure I was rooting for them to lose, hell my guys needed to gain some ground on the wild card spot, but I also was able to appreciate a true baseball moment also. But you know it did create an interesting dynamic, as I commented on Derek Jetter hitting a big homerun against the Red Sox in Fenway Park. I couldn’t resist my accolades....even for a player on a team that I so desperately wanted to lose that night.

Of course I got a few what the hell looks from fellow customers that looked at me as if I was some trader, while I sat there decked out in my Tigers T-shirt. But in that moment I wasn’t even thinking about my team, I was just reveling in a great baseball moment. But it was hurtful to the Tiger Fans none the less, and I can understand their reasoning. All the sudden these past two seasons we have been winning, and up to a few days ago it looked as if we had a decent shot to overtake the Yanks in the wild card. And well, us Tiger fans we cling onto hope as we always do....and sort of forget about the past transgressions and short falling of our team.

Historically we either jump way out in front of every other team like we did in ’68,and ’84 or even like last season we get involved in these white knuckle races like the one’s in ’72, 87 and 88. But in most cases we are done by September...but it doesn’t matter really...we are a forgiving bunch of rag tag fans and although we can be disappointed time and time again we still come back.....as will I, call me weird but I love September baseball, it’s what hopes and dreams are made of....maybe just not for my boys this year.

On a lighter note....at least we are playing a hella lot better than the Cardinals, talk about not living up last seasons potential.

Technology Sucks

I haven't blogged lately mainly due to the fact that my lap top is fucked up, completely dead, and my desk top is a mess also.I drove all the way to best buy yesterday, an hour and a half round trip no less, to have them look at it and with in thirty seconds say we can't help you. Seems I have to send it to Dell, pay for the shipping and it's a $159 minimum charge to just look at it, let alone fix it.

Now I can buy a new one for $469 dollars, so for a little more than double the minimum cost I can get a new one, ok homey doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what is the best thing to do, well maybe. But this is the kicker in the situation, Drew dropped the laptop, and not really even a hard drop, and most likely it's something so trivial that is wrong with it. I really am in a quandry....do I buy a new one, but then wonder for the rest of my life if it was just some flipping $20 part that needed to be replaced.

But then what do I do with the old one? And I know everytime I look at the old one I am going to be wondering if I freaking made the right decision... I am going to have to like bury that fucker in my back yard just to get it out of my site before it drives me insane. Ok I am flipping and flopping more than John Kerry in the last presidenial election, I am totally exhausting myself debating this in my head, getting on line right now to order the new one...Fuck this indecisevness. And I don't think I am making a good case for myself ...weird 1 quirky 0.

Noah Webster Can Kiss My Ass

Yeah Noah Webster, you know the guy who wrote the book that is most respected authority in the American household, well that's a bit of a stretch, but at least it is among die hard scrabble players. Webster's Dictionary, it used to be my friend until now. Yes, I know an odd way to begin a post but my insanity will make more sense in a few minutes.

As an educator I really shouldn't be telling the author of such an important teaching tool to kiss my lilly white ass but I am, and this is why.

Although it may be hard to believe, all my adult life I have been refereed to as being "weird", however I have always preferred the term "quirky". Now I have this ongoing debate with a friend and well my therapist has also jumped on the band wagon with this. They insist that you can not assign a label to your personality, that any assigned adjectives must be perceived by others not yourself.

So it was suggested that I look up the definition of these two terms and compare their meanings....this is where the kissing my ass part comes in. According to Webster, quirky is defined as A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy
OK that's a bit vague, lets look at synonyms, you know words that are similar in meaning, sorry slipped into teacher mode for a second there.

Anyway synonyms for quirky: bizarre, far out*, freakish, freaky*, idiosyncratic, in left field*, kinky*, odd, off-the-wall*, out of the ordinary, outre, peculiar, strange, unconventional, unorthodox, unusual, wacky*, way-out*, weird

This is totally NOT boding well for my argument when the words weird, freakish and strange are considered to be interchangeable with my preferred term quirky. Ok what the fuck does Webster know, he wrote that damn book back in what the 1700's not like the term even really existed then, I need a more current source, so as any good teacher does she turns to the Urban Dictionary. What? Gotta keep up with the ghetto slang, have to know when I am being dissed by my students. Yes the Urban Dictionary will definitely plead my case for me that I am NOT weird but rather quirky.

Quirky
A word often used by narcissistic scenesters when they describe their oh-so-unique selves in their Livejournal user info pages in attempts to sound like interesting people.

It is a word best used by one person to describe another Those who apply "quirky" to themselves thereby call into question their very own "quirkiness" by appearing seeming gleefully self-aware (just like everyone else)..OK so I am fucked, I can't assign this wonderful adjective to myself according to this definition, so along with Webster you can kiss my ass also.

So have I settled this heated debate as to wheather I am weird or quirky? Hell no, all I have learned is that well it's not acceptable to call yourself quriky even though you very well maybe. I guess it's up to the public's opinion and well I think that weird is gonna win out. Oh well, life goes on, and well if you want to know the definition of weird....look it up or hell just keep reading this blog I am sure you can find loads of evidence to make your case. However, if you read carefully the Urban dictionary says the term quirky is "best used to describe another", so tecnically I can use the term about myself, right? Oh come on, it's kinda like the expiration date on that carton of eggs in your refigerator, best when used by this date...doesn't mean that the eggs are spoiled if you use them a week after the date listed, right? Don't you love how I can manipulate the definition to suit my needs? Now that's what I call quirky....

Reality Sucks

I can't tell you how much reality sucks right now. Tomorrow starts the second full week of work for me since my summer break ended. Yeah I know boo hoo for me, but hell my body is having a hella time getting back into the groove. 5 am rolls around way way to soon, and I am exhausted by the end of the day....but I seem to have a great group of kids, and as usual there are the token students. One obvious perve who has made already tried to name himself teacher's pet. One very very scary student who stares at me like he wants to kill me in his sleep, the token air head who is oblivious to her environment and the fact that she is at school to actually learn, and then one student that just is way too normal to be in my classroom, actually gets her work done in record time and is totally unchallenged to the curriculum...all in all should be a good year, although I certainly hope their personalities start to come out a little bit more.

My new team is great, and we all share a common sick sense of humor...well all of us but one guy..he is just a bit too tightly wound and I love to jerk his chain every chance I get. He was bragging about the small size of his language arts class and I told him flat out to SHUT UP!!! Of course his expression was of shock and dismay while the rest of the team just burst out laughing at my verbal smack down. Told him that when his general education class is smaller than my special education classes there is something incredibly wrong. I swear he flinches now when I get within 5 feet of him, like he's afaid I'm gonna sucker punch him or something..Oh yes it is going to be a fun year.

The First Victim

I noticed on the way home that people were beginning to prepare for rememberance of 9/11. As the flags began to appear outside of homes and businesses, I reflected upon the time that has passed since that day. How we as a country have changed, how things aren't the same as they were pre 9/11 and never will be again.....but this is the world we live in now. And so I remember the victims of 9/11, and the day they had their lives violently cut short, and how my view of the world changed forever.


Father Judge's body bag was labeled "Victim 0001," recognized as the first official victim of the September 11, 2001 attacks, he was the first, but of course not the last. Let's hope that as a country, we never experience again the terrors of that September day.

Every Texters Nightmare......

Good God It Can't Be!

It can NOT be September already , Holy hell where did my summer vacation go?

The Right To Be An Idiot

Well they don't call him the Motor City Madman for nothing....crazy old Ted is at it again...just another example of ghetto pride......who'd of thunk Ted would have grown up to be such a conservative, and the author of a New York Times Best Seller "God, Guns and Rock and Roll" really I think that pretty much covers all the essential in life...right?? And the latest...Ted wants to become Govenor of Michigan..this coming from a man who dodged the draft back in the day by showing up to his physical having not showered for a month and wearing pants that were caked with 2 weeks worth of piss and shit....God help us all........ Wango Tango

Starting em Young

Parking at the Ball Park..........$15
Pair of Box Seat Tickets.........$130
Pre Dinner game.................. $20
One bag of peanuts.................$5
Three Large Soft Drinks...........$12
Various snacks not consumed by me lol
One Pretzel........................$5
One Hot Dog........................$3
Two Ice creams....................$10

Taking her to her first Major leauge Baseball game.....Priceless
Getting a phone call at 12:15 am to rub in that my boys lost...Predictable

Postsecret Pick of the Week

My Favorite Post Secret of the week.....I added the link in the side bar if you want to see the others posted this week.

My PostSecret

Back in 2005 I ran across a website that I have been totally addicted to ever since. I think part of it is because I am just completely nosey, and well part curious too. It is called PostSecrets and well once you've gone there it's kinda like a train wreck you can't quite look away. I mean we all have secrets some big some small, some embarassing, some very dark. I have to confess I have seen a few of my secrets posted by other fearless people, and well I guess it kinda makes me feel like a little less of a freak in some way.

Now when I read this blog I always walk away with a mixed bag of emotions, some of the professed secrets are down right silly and make me laugh like the mother who said she had a burping contest on the way home from ediquite class with her daughter.

Some of them are sad, like the soldier that said "the one thing that I am really good at is killing people"

Some are just plain sick, like the couple that sent in a postcard saying " I'm 45 and my lover is 21, and neither one of us care that her mother is my sister"...gross they must be from Arkansas...oh and those of you actually from Arkansas ...he's fucking his niece...like I said sick.

But really the ones that keep me coming back are the intriging ones... Like the person that sent in a postcard with the twin towers burning and scrawled the following at the top of the card: "Everyone who knew me before 9/11 thinks I am dead." I sit and wonder A) is this really a true secret, and B) if it is how can someone just disappear like that. I mean I understand the basic idea, pretend that you were killed when the towers went down, but I mean to not leave any trace of yourself, you really had to make a snap decision right there when the towers went down. Not like you could go to the bank and empty your account, that could be traced and hell you can't be withdrawing money if you are supposedly in the rubble of the tower. And hell what kind of person just disapears, and to never be able to contact your family, not one friend, essentially you have erased yourself from existance, you can't exist anymore....ok I could go on and on and on about this, but you get how this site gets me thinking.

So the title of the post is My Post Secret, now I've not sent any secrets in but as I said I see that many of my secrets are shared with others I have never met, so if I was going to send one secret in to be published this would be
it.......................

Its hard to read but basically says this: I secretly wish someone would leave a baby on my doorstep......and I could keep it......

Then Why Did You Ask Me?

Typically on Friday nights I go out to dinner, kind of stems from working during the school year and I am exhausted and don't want to cook...and well maybe an end of the week beer also motivates me too.

Anyway, getting my point here I really hate it when someone asks me where I want to go to dinner and then tries to talk me out of my choice. Now I am not talking about someone suggesting or throwing out some ideas and then voting down my choice. I am talking about when someone directly asks you where you want to eat dinner and then feels the need to tweek your decision.

Now I am pretty easy when it comes to making a choice and well usually my response is "I don't care...you choose." But every once in awhile I am pressed to make a decision. What I really hate is when I am then required to defend my choice like in some political debate.

I kind of look at it this way, when a person is singled out to make a choice, the askee's are in essence giving up control of the decision to the person they are asking the question....am I right? I mean I wasn't asked where should we go to eat as in lets brainstorm this idea and come up with something. I was asked where do you want to go to eat dinner. The whole process is just exhausting to me and well it's probably why I always say "you choose". So if you are thinking of taking me out to eat anytime soon, either choose for me or just roll with my suggestion, after all it's just food.

One More Swing Of The Bat

In a country where a person is supposedly innocent until proven guilty, (Wow, don’t let Michael Vick in on that little secret) it really does amaze me that one baseball player can cause so much controversy with what he has allegedly done. I say allegedly because well I am a firm believer in due process, (you know that little right we all have according to the Constitution) and well we have no proof…yet. Whether you like him, hate him, or don’t care, you have probably heard something about Barry Bonds and steroids and more than likely have formed an opinion.

As the media follows his every move, Bonds has refused to talk about the issue. Now some say that is because he is guilty and has nothing to say in his defense, but others might just say that Bonds hasn’t done anything wrong and is rightly dismissing the issue and dealing with what he does best – playing baseball.

When Major League Baseball made the decision to start testing for performance enhancing drugs it appeared a lot of the players seemed to magically get smaller. It’s no secret that many had gotten mysteriously thin. Now I am not naive, even my favorite Detroit Tiger, Pudge Rodriguez, went through a dramatic change physically. But well Bonds, he’s pretty much kept his physique. Why hasn’t he slimmed down?(Hell the man’s shoe size has increased a couple of sizes and supposedly his head has swelled so much he has had to go up two sizes on his cap… well maybe that’s just a side effect of his ego…sorry got sidetracked there for a second) Hummm....Well there could be two answers to that question, either he is still using steroids or some other undetectable drug, or Bonds really only used the “cream” and the “clear” briefly and then discarded them, or his bulk is the by product of well, a serious weight training program.

I keep hearing the same argument from some people that shout at the top of their lungs that steroids don’t help you hit homeruns. However, for major league hitters, especially hitters like Bonds who undeniably have “the gift” of reading pitches and the power to swing a bat, steroids could add 50 to 100 extra feet of ball flight. Take the average 30 homerun hitter, and add 50 to 100 feet onto every one of his hits, how many pop-flies and long-liners now turn into homeruns? Probably another twenty is my guess.


The fact is there are a lot of other variables to consider. My Dad brought up this point this past weekend when we were discussing just this subject. There are many things to consider when you look at the race for the record and well if anyone deserves it. Major League Baseball has added teams and inter-league games therefore introducing competition that Aaron would not have faced in a regular season, created SMALLER ballparks, lowered the mound and reduced the strike zone, just to mention a few.

So are these unfair advantages or disadvantages for today’s players? You could also argue that Aaron had advantages that Ruth never had, I don’t think you can really escape that argument.

But there is one thing that I know neither Ruth nor Aaron had, and that is the ability to take a performance enhancing drug. And the one thing they will always have over Bonds? That NO ONE will ever look at them and wonder if they deserved the records they earned.

"...when one great scorer goes to write against your name, he asks not if you won or lost, but how you played the game." ~ unknown

A White Chick’s View On the “N”-Word

The Reverend Sharpton is in the Ghetto this week, seems he is imploring the world of Rap and Hip-Hop to bury the N-word. Now I am not the biggest fan of the old Reverend because most of the time I think he’s just goes around looking to stir up trouble where it’s not needed, not all the time but most of the time. I give you Tawanda Brawly as a prime example, anyway my opinions of Mr. Sharpton is not the point really.

Part of me thinks I should just backspace this whole post because as a white chick do I really have a stake in this, some might say no, but I will disagree and write on. In all honesty I have to agree with the Rev. here. I have never understood the fascination of how frequently and well almost joyously some African Americans use the word “nigger” amongst themselves. And yes I know that it has become a “cultural” thing, a sort of inner race term that is used amongst members of this race and that it serves some purpose. What that purpose is I don’t get, maybe I am just looking at this from a purely Anglo Saxon point of view too much. But as much as I try to understand it, I still don’t get how a group of individuals can become so comfortable using a word that was in essence created by slave owners to degrade an entire (at the time) oppressed race of people.

Every time, I step into the halls at the school I teach, and hear the African American students use the “N” word as they greet each other and in turn respond positively, I can’t help but think that their ancestral line must be rolling over in their graves. In my opinion I don’t think such a word is a term of endearment, and it should not be made out to be one. You can’t redefine the word or put a positive slant on it by simply substituting a vowel.

I don’t think enough time has passed in this country for the entire concept of using this word openly in conversations; the power behind the word has not been erased simply by the passing of a century. In essence it boils down to this, the word is still and probably will remain for a long time at its basis –a racial slur, and it will continue to be even more so until it is not considered acceptable.

But honestly is that ever going to happen? Couldn’t tell ya, all I know is that as long as we have people like Damon Wayans. Who by the way has been trying to copyright the word "nigga" with the U.S Patent and Trademark Office for nearly two years. Not because he wants control over the word to “bury” it but rather to market some products he's trying to sell. Apparently he hasn’t been successful as of yet. Don’t get me wrong I love Damon and well the Wayan brothers are complete comic genius, but I don’t agree with his “business” venture. But hell what right do I have in stopping him, after all he has freedom of speech and the right to call himself what ever he wants, who’s this white chick to tell him what he can and can not say. Freedom of Speech you gotta love it.

The Two Sams

When I was packing for my vacation I collected up some reading materials to take with me, one of the books I got for Christmas was The Two Sams by Glen Hirshberg. I had started to read one of the stories earlier when I got the book, but got side tracked by my Leather Bound Edition of The Snowman’s Children also written by Glen. Well as we all know my school year got completely crazy after Christmas and I just didn’t get the chance to pick it up again until last week.

I was looking forward to delving into this book, mostly because I wanted to see if he was able to captivate me as a reader like he did with the Snowman’s Children. Part of me was scared to read it, not because it is in the horror genre, but because I had a sort of weird connection with his first novel. Although Snowman’s was a work of fiction, it was loosely based on the premise of something very real, real events that I remember living through. The way he described the area in Oakland County and the characters, he could have easily been describing the kids in my neighborhood, hell even me, and in many ways he did describe my fears quite eerily.


Anyway, so I started to read and well I have to say I was not disappointed in the least, and frankly I can’t wait until he writes another book. Glen wrote five short stories for “The Two Sams” collection, all of the stories are out and out showstoppers, I know how hard it is to write and well Glen makes it look effortless. Although I have never attempted to write fiction of any kind, I can see how aspiring writers would read his work and basically say “why do I even try?” it’s that good.

I am not going to give a synopsis of each story because well I want you to read the book, but I will talk a bit about my favorite one. “Mr. Dark’s Carnival” reads like a good old fashioned ghost story, the main character is a college professor who has had a life long quest to debunk the mystical carnival that the story’s title describes. A sort of Montana plains Urban Legend of sorts....that is until he receives an real invitation to visit the carnival one Halloween night. Part of him wants to prove the legend to be a hoax but ironically even more of him wants to experience it, really experience it. Glen does an awesome job of throwing a modern twist into the story as you experience the main characters quest to debunk the traditional structure of a ghost story while all the while becoming completely absorbed within it.

Reading the Two Sam’s convinced me that his first novel and its affect on me was not a fluke, I honestly thought I would at most get a quick scare and then put the book down and quickly forget what I read. But Glen has a way of working on your Psyche, and leaving you with a chill running up your spine for quite some time..
So buy the book, even if you are not a fan of the horror genre you will enjoy his work, and YOU know who---ahem, get the book and read it if you haven’t already, you are missing out on some good stuff!!
Once again you blew me away Glen, thanks.
You can order Glen's book on Amazon.com

The Ghetto Gets Some Recognition

Well look at that My Boys snagged three of the starting lineup positions for the All Star Game....Congrats Guys! And Leland is Coaching the American League, double Congrats!
AL

C Ivan Rodriguez, Tigers
1B David Ortiz, Red Sox
2B Placido Polanco, Tigers
3B Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
SS Derek Jeter, Yankees
OF Vladimir Guerrero, Angels
OF Magglio Ordonez, Tigers
OF Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners
And Well Hirp your Mets didn't do too shabby in being represented either, Congrats on that
NL

C Russell Martin, Dodgers
1B Prince Fielder, Brewers
2B Chase Utley, Phillies
3B David Wright, Mets
SS Jose Reyes, Mets
OF Carlos Beltran, Mets
OF Ken Griffey Jr., Reds
OF Barry Bonds, Giants

Don't Mess With An Ex-Marine

Ex-Marine Teaches Pickpocket a Lesson
Ex-Marine, 72, Fights Off Would-Be Pickpocket With Six or Seven Blows in Michigan
The Associated Press


GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - Bill Barnes says he was scratching off a losing $2 lottery ticket inside a gas station when he felt a hand slip into his front-left pants pocket, where he had $300 in cash.

He immediately grabbed the person's wrist with his left hand and started throwing punches with his right, landing six or seven blows before a store manager intervened.

"I guess he thought I was an easy mark," Barnes, 72, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Tuesday.

He's anything but an easy mark: Barnes served in the Marines, was an accomplished Golden Gloves boxer and retired after 20 years as an iron worker.

Jesse Daniel Rae, the 27-year-old Newaygo County man accused of trying to pick Barnes' pocket, was arraigned Monday in Rockford District Court on one count of unarmed robbery, a 15-year felony.

Barnes said he had just withdrawn the money from a bank machine and put it in the pocket of his shorts before driving to the Marathon service station and Next Door Food Store in Comstock Park, a Grand Rapids suburb.

He remembers noticing a patron acting suspiciously, asking the price of different brands of cigarettes and other items. While turned away, Barnes felt the hand in his pocket, so he took action.

"I guess I acted on instinct," he said.

Kent County sheriff's deputies said the store manager quickly came around the counter. The three of them struggled through the front door, where two witnesses said the manager slammed Rae to the ground and held him there.

More News Worthy Events

Here are some names of people who deserve to be household names, they are soldiers that have died in the past week fighting for your freedom and those of the Iraqi people.....too bad they didn't get a millisecond of the coverage that Paris got this week....as a nation we should be ashamed of ourselves.
U.S. soldier killed in Baghdad

BAGHDAD (CNN) -- A U.S. soldier was killed Wednesday when a roadside bomb exploded near his vehicle in eastern Baghdad, the U.S. military said.

Four other soldiers were wounded in the attack, it said.

To date, 3,569 American troops have died in the Iraq war. (Posted 4:09 p.m.)

The latest deaths reported by the military:
• Two soldiers were killed Monday during combat in Baghdad.
___
The latest identifications reported by the military:
• Army Spc. Joseph P. Kenny, 20, Veneta, Ore.; died Saturday in Mosul in a non-combat incident; assigned to the 27th Brigade Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Bliss, Texas.
• Army Pfc. Jerimiah J. Veitch, 21, Dibble, Okla.; killed Thursday in Baghdad when his vehicle was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.
• Five soldiers were killed Thursday by an explosive in Baghdad. All were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

Killed were Army Sgt. Alphonso J. Montenegro II, 22, Far Rockaway, N.Y.; Army Sgt. Ryan M. Wood, 22, Oklahoma City; Army Pfc. Daniel J. Agami, 25, Coconut Creek, Fla.; Army Pfc. Anthony D. Hebert, 19, Lake City, Minn.; and Army Pfc. Thomas R. Leemhuis, 23, Binger, Okla.

• Four soldiers were killed Wednesday in Baghdad when their vehicle struck an explosive. All were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 64th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.
Killed were Army Maj. Sid W. Brookshire, 36, Missouri; Army Staff Sgt. Darren P. Hubbell, 38, Tifton, Ga.; Army Spc. Joe G. Charfauros Jr., 33, Rota, Mariana Islands; and Army Pfc. David J. Bentz III, 20, Newfield, N.J.

You can have Paris

Thank God Paris has been released for jail, maybe now this whole media circus will end. No I have not against Paris Hilton personally,not at all, but I am sick of the over the top coverage of a woman who is know for nothing other than being well known and has become the latest example (only behind that whole Anna Nicole Smith bullshit) of how the news media is spiralling downward into the sewer in this country. Shit they even made Anderson Cooper cover her tonight, although he did seem quite annoyed with the whole thing, good boy Andy.

Personally I am discusted with the news networks, MSNBC follows her every move, while at the same time complaining about the amount of attention given to her by the media. Kinda an oxymoron statement Hugh? And CNN and Fox are no better.

Now I am having to suffer through all the exclusive very special interviews with whom ever was the highest bidder. Frankly, I've had enough and I am beginning to think compared to Paris, Lindsay Lohan has her shit together .So no, in my eyes Paris is not news worthy and my fingers are getting sore trying to find a new station that is not covering this completely unnewsworth event.

Question of the Day

Purely hypothetically speaking, Assuming you have attended a party or gathering and that you consumed maybe just a little to much of the juice:
Would You Rather

1. Not remember anything that happened after you left the bar / party?
2. Remember everything and regret every second of it?
And you must explain your response!

A Disturbing Occurance

Monday morning I decided to take a day trip up to an outlet mall in O.C. Unfortuantely this is like an hour and half drive from my house, that is if there is no construction. But it's summer so of course there is construction, and lots of it. Anyway after about an hour of driving I decide that well I don't think I can make it to the Mall before I need to pee. What can I say I have a bladder the size of a walnut.

I'm pretty much out in the middle of fucking nowhere, and honestly don't think I can make it to the next exit, so I decide to get off at a rest stop. Now normally I wouldn't consider it, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Surprisingly the rest stop is quiet and more importantly clean, with soap, running water and towels thank god.

While I'm in the restroom doing my duty, I hear a voice. Kinda took me by surprise since I thought I was alone. Anyway at first I thought it was a woman talking on her cell phone since I didn't hear any responses to what she was saying.

But this one sided conversation quickly took a bizarre turn. As I am sitting there I hear her praying, I think ok she's praying, kinda a weird place to get one with your maker but to each his own.

For some reason I just sat there and listened, I don't know what compelled me to, but it was like I was intrigued by her private conversation, I felt a slight twinge of guilt for eavesdropping but hell this was a public restroom after all, what was I supposed to do plug my ears and try to wipe at the same time?

So I'm sitting there listening and the conversation just begins to become more and more bizarre....."you gotta stick with me Jesus, you hear, I need you, my babies are good, they are good kids, I am not going to listen to you, my babies are good, I am not going to kill my kids, I won't listen to you. My babies are good."

My heart was in my throat the minute I heard "I'm not going to kill my kids". At that point I was sort of in this weird limbo, part of me wanted to get the hell out of there, and part of me was intent on seeing if this woman was really alone.
I quickly pulled my skirt up, exited the stall and looked under the stall doors. There she was about six stalls down in the handicapped stall. I could tell she was alone, I didn’t see any other feet under the stall, and from what I could tell she was just standing up against the wall. All the while she keeps up her montra, “My babies are good, I won’t listen to you”

I quickly and quietly washed my hands and dried them, praying myself she didn’t come out of the stall before I exited. All the time I am thinking what the HELL, I can’t believe what I just heard, and why does this crazy shit always happen to me? I went to my car and waited, waited for the delusional woman to emerge from the restroom hoping she parked on the same side I did. Within a few minutes she comes out. I knew it was her I recognized her black and white canvas sneakers.

I was half expecting this monster to appear, but she was ironically normal looking. Well groomed and not someone whom I’d suspect would vocalize such insane statements. But that’s the thing about mental illness, it can strike even the most normal looking of person, Drew is a perfect example of this.

I watched her get in the passenger side of the car she was riding in, and decided I would not be able to live with myself unless I “did” something. I pulled out and started following her onto the expressway, dialed 911 and reported what I had heard and described her vehicle and plate number.

I felt kind of weird about calling and was having a hard time explaining what happened, the 911 operator sort started to blow me off, until she heard the urgency in my voice. Basically I told her that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I read in the papers in the near future that this woman actually carried out this act upon her children, and secondly I would be the first to call the media to explain my run in with her in a public highway restroom and explain how my concerns were blownoff by a certain 911 Operator. She assured me she’d dispatch an officer to the area, but couldn’t guarantee anything would or could be done. Fair enough was my response and I hung up.

I’ve told a few people about the incident, with mixed opinions being offered. Some say I was just being nosey, that the woman just was rambling incoherently and it meant nothing. Others have said I did the right thing, better to be safe than sorry. I don’t know I just think that if I hadn’t done anything that I would always wonder, this way I know I did what I could within my miniscule power. But I guess I will never really know.

Remember This Guy?

Well it's a small world, I actually found this guy on a Sports Forum I just joined, yes I know I am completely nuts! But I can't help myself when it comes to the Tigers.
Hopefully he will be holding another sign this October....but with even a better ending. Now that's some fan devotion! GO Tigers!

Oh we are just up to our ass in terrorists again aren't we John?

So Bruce Willis is reprising his role of John McClain in the newest saga of the Die Hard Series. Have always been a huge Willis fans since his days on Moonlighting when he had a tad bit more hair. I knew then he wasn't long for the small screen, so when the first Die Hard came out I was excited and well pleasantly suprised. Hard to believe it's been 12 years since the last Die Hard episode, and well I am ready for some more John McClain.....Yippie Kay Yay Muther Fuckers!

Oh and my favorite quotes from the Die Hard Series comes from Die Hard with a Vengence, the combination of Willis and Samuel L. Jackson as "Zeus" is priceless.

[McClane hands Zeus a gun]
John McClane: You know how to fire one of these?
Zeus: No.
John McClane: No?
Zeus: Hey, all brothers don't know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.